Thursday, July 12, 2012
THE PROFILE:
THE PROFILE:
As important as the first message is, the information on your profile is what we are going to use to size you up. We would love to think that we are a judgment free zone, but without knowing the person, we can only use what we have available to decide if you are someone we want to connect with.

Here are some things I have seen from my own experience that were huge turn offs. The first one I will call “The Problems”:

Emotional brokenness, psychiatric illness, addictions, strange and frightening interests, all of these can be found without much of a struggle on online dating websites. Yes, you did just move out of mom's house, but you forgot to mention it was to a halfway house. Oh, you're brand new to online dating? That's because you're desperately searching for someone to fill the gaping hole your girlfriend of 4 years left when she dumped you 3 days ago. That degree in accounting? You're hoping that will help you manage your gambling problem. So when to disclose this stuff? This is tricky. My recommendation is NOT to put it right on your profile unless you think it is going to seriously affect your potential relationship. For example, I have seen people disclose things from foot fetishes to mental disorders. After getting to know a person, there are some things that people can learn to overlook. For example, if you have major depression but you are on medication and it is well managed, I could probably overlook that because it won’t cause any huge problems. But if you have a foot fetish and are going to want me to engage in strange behaviors, some people can’t see past that. Therefore, something like that you might want to say on your profile. If you're afraid people aren’t going to give you a chance, then they aren't someone you would want to be with anyway. If you wait too long, they might send you packing just because they feel duped. Therefore, honesty is the best policy, and waiting until 5 minutes before you're about to meet the person is NOT the best time to tell them that you're an alcoholic and were hoping they'd drive you home after dinner and drinks.

Another thing that’s important to focus on is the section about what you’re looking for. You're looking for the one that's right for you? That's great, but that doesn't help us much in identifying if we are someone you would be interested in. Sure, it can appear that we have similar interests, but if you'll only date brunettes, athletes, or girls who are out at the club every night, you should specify this. Save us the time of sending you a thoughtful message you are going to ignore without clicking on our profile, because blondes or redheads aren't really your type.

Here's something else I see a lot of that I'd like to add:
"Music: Tool, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Staind, Slipknot, Deftones, Pantera, A Perfect Circle, Alice In Chains, Adema, 40 Below Summer, Bloodsimple, Bleed The Sky, Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Buckethead, Dream Theater, Cold, Crossfade, Damageplan, Dear Enemy, Default, Demon Hunter, Devil Driver, Divine Heresy, Disturbed, Down, Drowning Pool, Dry Kill Logic, Fear Factory, Five Finger Death Punch, Flaw, Hatebreed, Killswitch Engage, Candiria, ill Nino, In Flames, Karnivool, Lamb Of God, Machine Head, Metallica, Mercenary, Mudvayne, Misery Signals, Motograter, Modest Mouse, Mushroomhead, Nothingface, Nickelback, Nirvana, The Offspring, Otep, Opeth, Ozzy Osbourne, Parkway Drive, Papa Roach, P.O.D., Puddle Of Mudd, Rammstein, Reveille, Saliva, Seether, Stone Sour, Sevendust, Skrape, Snot, Soil, Soilwork, Soundgarden, Silverchair, Stereomud, Sum 41, System Of A Down, Taproot, Throwdown, Volbeat THERES TO MANY"
******OK, here's the point. In case you are wondering, neither myself or anyone else is ever going to sit and read this, or your similar list of movies, shows, or food. In fact, in a situation like this, less is sometimes more. If you keep it simple and list a genre or two that you're into, matches can use that in a message to start a conversation. Ex. -"I saw you're really into rap, did you know Drake is coming to the Prudential Center this month?" If something is your absolute favorite artist/show/movie of all time, feel free to throw it on there! I just wouldn't list more than five. If you just can't narrow it down, stick with simplicity.
Written at 11:18 AM by Tori.
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